You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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