Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
