Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
