why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
