We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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