At least make sure they are 18
Why
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
