Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
