the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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