he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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