Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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