For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
