I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
