When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
