The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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