Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Floor bacon is actually really good
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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