I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
