Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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