There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize