Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
