I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
