I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
