Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
there is puke in my bra ... again
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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