Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
