I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
