I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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