If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
