Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
