Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
