Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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