he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
