You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
