I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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