How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
