he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
