I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
