There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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