dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
ok first of all what the fuck
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
