ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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