She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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