Fuck appropriateness.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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