I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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