girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
should my penis look like a turkey
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
