I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
