She's JV to your varsity
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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