If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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