It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
