Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
