Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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