Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
