And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Randomize
