stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
